Are you confused when your doctor says you have this or you are going to get tested for_________? With years of detailed research and many months of trials, I am pleased to offer you this breakdown of the most popular medical terms.
A word of caution. You should seek another opinion if you feel any of these pertain to you.
Artery................ The study of paintings
Bacteria................ Back door to cafeteria.
Barium...................What doctors do when patients die.
Benign.................. What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section........ A neighbourhood in Rome.
Catscan.......................... Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her..
Colic........................... A sheep dog.
Coma........................... A punctuation mark.
Dilate......................... To live long.
Enema........................... Not a friend.
Fester.......................... Quicker than someone else.
Fibula.......................... A small lie.
Impotent........................ Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain.................. Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff................ A Doctor's cane.
Morbid........................... A higher offer. (also a real estate term)
Nitrates...................... Cheaper than day rates.
Node........................... I knew it.
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted.
Pelvis......................... Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative.................. A letter carrier.
Recovery Room................ Place to do upholstery.
Secretion...................... Hiding something.
Seizure........................ Roman emperor.
Tablet........................... A small table.
Terminal Illness............. Getting sick at the airport.
Tumour....................... One plus one more.
Urine.......................... Opposite of you're out.